Monday, August 3, 2009
Recently, i keep lost count of the date and day...keep thinking that it's one day forward, meaning for example, it's saturday, i thought it's sunday.somehow i think it is because of the environment that causes the illusion.hahaha!
now that i'm free, i start to think of what am i supposed to do in the days to come. looking at the calendar, seems like the year is near an end, i'm still here, don't know what i'm doing and what's for future. sometimes, when i look upon the sky, i think, what have i contributed? what have i done? what else do i need to do? i'm totally lost man...people always say determination drives the path..does it means that i will get achieve what i want so long as i'm determined? but it doesn't seems to be that way at all...thinking about it, i do sometimes, regret on why don't i start early. looking at the days i have left with my age, time is tight and path is not at all easy and near. sad... i don't want to just work like any other people till old. i want to be what i want to be.. i don't want to work for the sake of earning an income and establish a family. my life is more colourful and exciting than this, isn't it? i don't want my life to be just like an ordinary people's life where they work, get married, have children, take care of children till old... my life should be more than this. i want it to be my way and not following destiny. who can hear me??? who can understand??? who can tell me what can i do??? when will i really get to see the rainbow in my life?? i'm totally lost...i know what i want, i'm sure of what i want to be, i'm determine in doing it no matter how much i have to give in but how and when?? i don't know myself...i begin to doubt myself..
